What to Do if You Dont Know if You Love Someone
Download Article
Download Article
In relationships, at that place ofttimes comes a time when, for whatever reason, you're forced to reexamine your feelings. Perchance you're in a long-term relationship and you retrieve your feelings may have changed, or faded away. Possibly you've already parted ways with a partner, simply are doubting your decision. Practice y'all still love them? Beloved isn't always a black and white affair, and information technology can be difficult to decipher your feelings when you're stuck in a gray area.
-
1
Think nigh when you lot began questioning your feelings. Feelings don't modify overnight. It probably took you lot awhile to autumn in dear and establish a devoted relationship with your partner. Give yourself enough fourth dimension to interpret your feelings, considering you tin can irreparably harm your human relationship if you lot human activity too quickly.[1] Don't feel guilty by giving yourself some fourth dimension to unpack all of your emotions, and don't try to rush to have it all figured out.
- Consider what else was happening when you lot started questioning your feelings. Accept other factors changed in your life? Maybe y'all started a new job, and y'all're constantly exhausted. Peradventure family unit troubles are causing a strain on the human relationship. Make certain you recognize if your apathy or defoliation most the human relationship stems from the natural ups and downs of life, rather than feelings toward your partner.
-
2
Assess your deportment toward your partner. Consider things like your patience and physical attraction levels. Have you been snapping at them out of irritation more than often recently? Has your interest in physical intimacy decreased? Maybe you've started needing more and more infinite away from them. These, of grade, are all crimson flags. It'southward normal for a relationship to cool off a bit every bit the honeymoon stage ends, but it shouldn't become cold![2]
- Take annotation of how often you turn down your partner's advances, criticize them, lose patience with them, and so on. If you find that y'all're doing these things more than often than not, you probably demand to take a difficult, honest look at your relationship.
Advertisement
-
iii
Imagine a future without this person. You lot need to do this earlier you take any sort of decisive action. When you recall almost your future in an platonic earth, is this person a part of it? Sometimes we accept our loved ones for granted, even if they are the most of import person in our lives. We don't realize that their absenteeism would shatter our globe as we know it. Exist completely honest with yourself when you picture moving on without them— would your life suffer or flourish?
- Any breakup is difficult, considering it means stepping outside of your comfort zone and losing someone you lot once cared nigh. Still, imagine life after the initial discomfort. Would y'all be happier on your ain? Would you exist happier with someone else?
- Recognize that being comfortable with someone doesn't necessarily hateful you love them.
Advertisement
-
ane
Recall why the human relationship ended. If your relationship has already concluded and y'all're questioning if your love is nonetheless there, brand sure y'all think what caused the breakup. Information technology'southward piece of cake to look back and romanticize an quondam relationship, only don't overlook reality. Sometimes people simply gave upwards also rapidly without attempting to piece of work out their issues. Notwithstanding, sometimes there are fundamental issues that merely cannot exist fixed.[3]
- If the relationship ended considering someone fabricated a mistake, it is important to determine if you can truly forgive and forget. Yous tin't create a future with someone if yous are stuck in the bug of the past.
- Similarly, nothing will modify about your human relationship if no i has changed. If you broke up with your partner because you didn't trust them, either they need to accept become trustworthy or you need to have get trusting. Past issues don't just disappear.
-
2
Weigh the pros and cons of beingness with this person. Try to determine how your overall quality of life changes when you are with them and without them. If they become your #ane priority and your work performance, family relationships, and cocky-care all fall to the wayside, it may not be a healthy relationship.[iv] Even so, if you truly feel similar a meliorate person when you're with them, that's something you don't desire to sideslip away.
- Write it all down so y'all can truly see if the positives outweigh the negatives. Don't hold back!
-
3
Be brutally honest with yourself about your motivation. Are you lot debating going dorsum to this person because you are lone? Loneliness, though painful and debilitating, is not a reason to be with someone. Jealousy is some other powerful emotion that tin make y'all start pining for an ex, just don't fight for them back just because you don't desire to run into them with someone else. That is not the foundation of a healthy and long-lasting human relationship.[five]
- If y'all can say with certainty loneliness, jealousy, boredom, or whatever other superficial emotion isn't the reason you're considering rekindling your romance, you may still love this person.
Advertisement
-
i
Take some space away from this person. Take time to do the things that make you happy, and anything that helps you clear your head. If you haven't spent much fourth dimension away from your partner before, this is a good opportunity to go a gustation of what life would be like without them. It can also help you lot unwind and determine if stress was causing you to question your relationship. Not only can some solitary fourth dimension help yous sort out your feelings without any pressure from your partner, but information technology will give y'all fourth dimension to compose yourself and determine exactly how to proceed.
-
2
Hash out your feelings with the person, if appropriate. If you're currently in the human relationship, use tact when speaking with your partner. Brainstorm your sentences with "I" rather than "yous," because y'all don't want to sound accusatory or hurtful. Instead, discuss how y'all've been feeling in the relationship.[six] If yous aren't currently in a relationship with this person, make up one's mind if communicating your feelings is advisable. Information technology may non be appropriate if it could toy with their emotions, or if they have a new partner.
- Once you decide to starting time voicing your feelings, things may get complicated. Don't practice this unless yous're sure it is something that needs to exist addressed.
- Often times it is easier to write your feelings down and so that you tin say everything you demand to say. Writing a letter can be a great mode to communicate with your current or past partner.
-
3
Choose a program and stick to it. In other words, become yourself out of the atrocious grey surface area. If, after all of this, you want to stay together (or get back together), then do and so wholeheartedly. If y'all want to break up, do and so completely. You lot take to commit fully to any you choose! If you are in a human relationship withal constantly doubting it, your human relationship volition suffer. You can't have one foot out the door and expect love to flourish. On the other mitt, if yous decide you do not love the person, you must end things completely. You volition not be able to start a new, independent life if yous continue to inquire "what if?"[7]
Advertizing
Add New Question
-
Question
How do you assess your feelings for someone?
Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a individual practise in New York Urban center. With over a decade of psychological consulting feel, Dr. Chloe specializes in human relationship bug, stress management, cocky esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as offshoot faculty at the Metropolis University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the writer of "Nervous Free energy: Harness the Power of Your Feet" and "Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating."
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Good Answer
Make your assessment about yous, and really go in impact with how y'all've felt over fourth dimension. I often ask clients to tell me the story of how they met the person, what things were like early in the relationship, and when and how the problem started to occur. Ofttimes, merely by going through the whole history with me, they'll end upward getting a lot of insight and information about their feelings throughout the relationship.
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
Advertising
Nearly This Article
Article Summary X
To know if yous still beloved someone, think nearly how attracted you are to them, since a lack of attraction usually suggests a lack of love. In addition to your attraction, pay attention to how easily they badger you, since getting irritated with your partner can be a red flag. You should as well consider the reasons why yous're all the same in a relationship with them, since information technology's piece of cake to fault honey for loneliness or dependence. If you lot're even so unsure about your feelings for your partner, try having some time and infinite to yourself and so you can meet how information technology feels to be away from them. For more than tips from our Psychology co-author, including how to discuss your feelings with your partner or ex, read on!
Did this summary help you?
Cheers to all authors for creating a page that has been read 535,272 times.
Did this commodity assist yous?
Source: https://www.wikihow.com/Know-if-You-Still-Love-Someone
0 Response to "What to Do if You Dont Know if You Love Someone"
Post a Comment